Birthday Awesomeness

Hi there friends. Sorry I haven’t written a bloggeration in a while, but I’ve been really busy[1]. Luckily this business[2] has given me lots and lots of updates to share with you, my faithful readership[3].

For starters, I got a jobby job at long last! Starting on Tues

day, July the 6^th I will begin my new job as an Internal Communications Specialist at PG&E. For those of you who don’t live on the West coast[4], PG&E is the power provider for most of the West coast. Needless to say, I’m crazy excited about it and can’t wait to start!

In other, sadder, news – I turned 29 this week. Despite the fact that I

am now one year closer to my cold cold grave, the California branch of the family had a momentous, life changing[5], two day long celebration of the anniversary of my birth. It involved Frenchmen, hamburgers, velvet, and (purportedly) haunted mansions built by eccentric millionaires.

That’s right folks, 29 years ago on June 17^th,1981 at 10:42 I came into the world. To mark my birth, the sun went dark due to an unscheduled solar eclipse. At that same time, a two headed box turtle was born with only one head, and a man named Eustice burped. It was horrible.

Locally, we ce

lebrated the 29^th anniversary of my birth with the giving of gifts. From the parents Sumner I got seasons one and two of the “new” Doctor Who series.

And from the wife I received the gift of comic book awesomeness and hilarity, in the for of the Starman Omnibus Vol. 4 and Mystery Science Theatre 3000 vol. 17.

Truly, it was a celebration to end all celebrations. I would have been more than happy with those gifts, but my lovely wife had to take it to the next level by taking me to Hubert Keller’s Burger Bar in San Francisco.

For those of you who don’t know, Hubert Keller is a French chef who has appeared on Public Television and (some would say) more importantly Top Chef Masters where he won the title of Top Chef Master in the show’s first season. I must say, that Frenchman makes a deliciously fancy burger, and a darn tasty milkshake. He also has a delicious beard.

I'm the sexiest man alive! And I'm french!

Here’s some pictures of our food:

That's a fancy burger my friend.

A close up of the deliciousness

The missuses hamburger

A mountain of fried deliciousness that the chef threw in because he loved me (or, more liekly, because he cooked too much food).

It's probably best not to dwell on the implied caloric intake of said milkshake, and instead bask in it's radiant glory.

As if that weren’t enough, my wife then made a deliciously fattening Red Velvet Cake.

To cap off the celebration, we spent yesterday afternoon at the Winchester Mystery House in San Jose California. If you’ve never been to the mystery house, it’s fun in the way that most cheesey tourist traps are: once. They wouldn’t let you take pictures on the tour, but here’s some of the exterior shots.

The Winchester Mystery House Exterior

Another shot of the house

Me in front of the house. That's right... my shirt say "Praise the Lard"

The missus in front of the house.

In the garden of the Winchester Mystery House

All told, this was a delightful birthday, and I can only hope that your next birthday is as delightful as mine was.

Ya’ll stay classy… wherever ya’ll is…

Blakely A-dam Sumner

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[1] Actually, I’ve just been lazy. So, so lazy.

[2] Once again, I haven’t necessarily been “busy” as much as I’ve been lazy. So, so lazy.

[3] Hi Mom!!!

[4] Or “Left” coast as I’ve sometimes heard it referred to.

[5] Well… life changing in the sense that every single thing you ever do changes your life somehow.

Music for a Quiet Evening at Home

It’s a quiet evening, and quiet evenings call for relaxing music. Here’s some songs I like to listen to when I need to unwind a bit and just enjoy some music.

Denvermolorado by Atmosphere

This is actually an incredibly depressing song, but man is that beat smooth. I wish I could rap[1].

The Night by Morphine

If you ever get stuck on a road trip with me at night, you’ll hear this song at least once[2].

Sovay by Andrew Bird



I was gettin’ready to be a threat. I was gettin’ set for my accidental suicide. The kind where no one dies and no one looks too surprised. Good lyrics. Good song.

Debra by Beck



The subject matter of the song is… disturbing[3] but (once again) the groove is just too tasty[4]

All the Wine by The National



First, I love the fact that who ever posted this video on youtube decided to post a picture of the James Brown Christmas album in the video. That was a classy choice. This song is like Spill the Wine by War… if War had ever used the line “I’m a birthday candle in a circle of black girls” in a song and were much more laid back[5].

In Da Club (NIN Remix)



I don’t know who thought this would be a good idea… but thank you. Thank you. From the bottom of my coal black heart… thank you.

Bullet and a Target by Citizen Cope



I got nothing to say about this song, except it’s awesome. Peanut butter and chocolate awesome.

The District Sleeps Alone Tonight by The Postal Service



Really, I could’ve used any Postal Service song. This just happens to be my favorite.

Girlfriend in a Coma by The Smiths

If you listen to this song, you’ll feel about about feeling so happy when you listen to it.

American Girls by Weezer (Mostly)



I wish this song was on a CD. It would change my life.

Dear God 2.0 by The Roots



I want to start by saying I’m not a huge fan of the Roots. I know they’re good, and I love the fact that they are the rare rap act that actually plays their own instrument, but I’ve never felt a compelled to delve beyond Baby You Got Me. However, when I heard this song (a remake of a Monsters of Folk[6] song) that is just delightful. Apparently, the song is going to be on the new Roots album, which makes me think I may want to buy it.

There you have it friends. Good music for your listening pleasure. You can thank me later.

Ya’ll stay classy… wherever ya’ll is…

Blakely A-dam Sumner

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[1] My rap name would be Pale Ale. Because I’m incredibly pale. Get it?

[2] Although I don’t know why we’d take a road trip together. That would be weird.

[3] To say the least.

[4] I’d like to apologize for my blatant use of the word tasty just then. I knew it was wrong, but I did it anyway. It didn’t sound as lame when I said it in my head.

[5] And I don’t think the lead singer for the National ever reffered to himself as an “overfed, long haired leaping gnome. But it would be awesome if he did.

[6] For those of you non-hipsters in the reading audience, Monsters of Folk is a “super group” comprised of My Morning Jacket’s Jim James, M. Ward, and Conor Oberst and Mike Moigs (Both from the band Bright Eyes). It’s a decent album, but the best songs on the album are the one’s written by Jim James.

A few things to consider

I'm feeling incredibly lazy this evening, so I decided that I'd leave you with a few things to ponder over the weekend. Enjoy, but don't strain your brain too much.

1.) Why does Lady Ga Ga yell “truth!” at the start of Just Dance?

2.) If you’re going to be on a reality show, and you’re from Georgia[1], act like you’ve got some ____ sense. If you’re going to hold it down for the dirty, then please act rationally. Don’t cry when the judges give you constructive criticism. Stay sober. Don’t make out with more then one dude or lady. Better yet, don’t make out with any dudes or ladies. People think poorly of the peach state already. They don’t need you enforcing any negative stereotypes.

It hurts Harry Dawg's heart when you act a fool.

3.) What is Gonzo[2] exactly?

Good gawd man... this is... BAT COUNTRY!!!

4.) Never refer to Pizza as “za”. It demeans both you and the pizza.

5.) Megan Fox was recently fired from Transformers 3. Who will they find that is willing to talk interact with vaguely racist evil robots while running through the dessert in slow motion for 45 plus minutes without getting tired as well as she can?

6.) Speaking of Megan Fox… Jonah Hex? Really? You couldn’t find a more obscure/horrible comic book based movie to be in? Do you hate yourself, your career, and your acting millions that much?

Yep... this is what teenage girls want their next heartthrob to look like...

7.) At some point in your life, you will eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that will be better than any other peanut butter and jelly sandwich you will ever eat. You may have already eaten it.

Note: The video I am posting doesn't have nothing to do with nothing, but Reggie and the Full Effect is an awesome band, and this video makes me laugh.

8.) Once time, I was going to start a band called Fancy Pants Greg and the Wizards, but then I realized:

a. My name isn’t Greg

b. My pants aren’t fancy

c. None of the wizards were actually practicing magicians[3].

d. I can’t play a musical instrument

9.) Why can’t computers in real life do the same stuff that they can on television and in the movies?

10.) I’ll probably never be the subject of one of Kanye West’s hurtful and (often) bigoted rants. I’m not entirely certain how I feel about this development.

Imma let you finish Blake Sumner, but you need to know that you're blog is the worst blog of all times. ALL TIMES!

Ya'll stay classy... wherever ya'll is...

Blakely A-dam Sumner

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[1] Particularly south Georgia.

[2] The muppet, not the style of journalism pioneered by the late Hunter S. Thompson.

[3] I think the drummer knew a few card tricks, but that hardly counts.

Literary Adventures

As I’ve mentioned before, I like to go to used bookstores every once and again to look for books. I finished the book I’d been reading early yesterday morning. Since yesterday was a holiday[1], the library was closed and I had no book.

Now, I’m the sort of man who likes to have a book in progress at all times[2]. Normally when this situation arises, I get a back from the bookshelf. However, all of our books are in storage at the moment so I was forced to head out to Half Priced Books in search of a novel to keep my mind occupied. When I got to the bookstore, I was delighted to see that they were having a Memorial Day sale and I immediately set myself to the task of finding a book to read. As I was looking through the books, I came across a copy of Brett Easton Ellis’ first novel Less than Zero.

I had no intention of buying the book, as I already own a copy. However, this edition of the book was different than the one I have, and I like to thumb through different editions of books I own to see if they have a different forward, afterward, or some other essay that might add some insight to the book[3] I might have missed. Since I’d never seen this particular printing of this book, I figured I’d look to see if there was something extra.

As I pulled the book down from the shelf, I noticed that someone had written something on the inside cover with a sharpie. Being an English major, I find it interesting to see what people see fit to right in the margins of books[4]. Of course I wanted to see what the former owner of this book felt compelled to write on the inside cover of the book, and boy was it a doozie.

Apparently this particular copy of less than zero had been a gift in its’ former life. The book was originally intended to be a gift from a boy to a girl, and the note went something like this[5]:

“Dearest Jeanine,

I can only hope that you love this book as much as I love you – although I don’t know if that would be possible.

Sincerely,

Steve”

As I put the book back on the shelf, I immediately thought three things:

1. OUCH!
2. Who gives a copy of Less than Zero to their girlfriend?
3. OOOHH!!! DAVE EGGERS!!![6]

I suppose you’re wondering why I thought those things[7]. Well, since you asked so nicely, I’ll tell you!

Why my first thought was OUCH!

As I’ve already noted, I was in a used bookstore. Used bookstores (typically) buy and trade pre-owned books in exchange for cash or store credit. Since I found this book in a used bookstore, I can only assume that said book was originally given as an act of love. However, things must have gone sour in their relationship – forcing the girl to break up with him and sell the book she’d given him. By the nature of the note alone, and act like that has to be a heart stinger.

Poor Steve gave this woman the gift of literature. At the first sign of trouble, this heartless shrew sells Steve’s singular expression of love and sells it for three to four dollars so that jerk-holes such as myself can mock Steve’s lost love on the interweb. I’d almost feel sorry for the guy, if his note hadn’t sucked out loud.

Why my second thought was “Who gives a copy of Less than Zero to their girlfriend?

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Bret Easton Ellis’ first novel, here’s a brief description[8]:

Titled after the Elvis Costello song of the same name, the novel follows the life of Clay, a rich young college student who has returned to his hometown of Los Angeles, California for the winter break during the early 1980s. He spends much of the novel going to parties and doing drugs with his friends. During this time, he must decide whether or not he wants to restart a relationship with Blair, for whom he is uncertain about his feelings. Meanwhile, Clay has one-night stands with a few men and women on the side while his relationship with Blair goes downhill. At the same time, he attempts to renew his relationship with his best friend, Julian, who has become a prostitute and drug addict. Throughout his descent into the netherworld of the L.A. drug scene, he loses his faith in his friends, and grows alienated with the amoral party culture he once embraced. He is greatly disturbed by four events: first, his anorexic friend Muriel intravenously takes heroin whilst people watch and take photos; his friend Trent shows a snuff film at a party and only he and Blair seem to be disturbed by it; later, he is forced to sit in a chair for five hours to watch Julian sell himself to a businessman from Muncie, Indiana, in order to get money to support his heroin habit; finally, he meets friends at a concert, only to leave and not only find a dead body that everyone wants to see. Once again, his friends are attracted to it. Eventually, these events lead him to leave Los Angeles, possibly intending never to return.

If the description of the book alone isn’t enough to explain why giving this book to a girlfriend, allow me to elucidate further. Giving this book sends the following message to your loved one:

Dearest _______[9],

I want to cheat on you with a cornucopia of chicks and dudes, while partaking in a bevy of hard drugs. Also, I don’t like any of your friends, but I’m too ashamed too tell you. Eventually I’m going to leave you, and it’s all California’s fault.

Yours truly,

John Q. Jerkface

Seriously, this isn’t the “feel good book” of the year people. By giving this book as a gift, this fool was essentially[10] comparing his love affair to the reprehensible actions taken by the characters in the novel. Furthermore, the nature of the note leads me to believe that these two hadn’t been dating for a long time. The phrase “I hope you love this book as much as I love you” implies that they hadn’t been dating for an extended period of time. If they had been dating for a while, he’d most likely know her tastes a bit better, and wouldn’t need to preface the sentence by saying “I hope”. This lapse in judgment led the relationship to take a downturn and, before Steve knew it, he was single again and Jeanine was selling all the books[11] he’d given her[12].

So, what’s the moral here? Simple: If you give your lady[13] a book, make sure that you:

a.) Know what kinds of book she likes

b.) Don’t write a note in the inside front cover, in case your paramour should decide to sell your gift of love in the future

c.) For the love of Bob, make sure that the book has some kind of redeeming value

On second thought, don’t give your significant other a book, unless she specifically asks for a particular book.

Ya’ll stay classy… wherever ya’ll is…

Blakely A-dam Sumner

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[1] Thanks for fighting for my freedom troops!

[2] I get all fidgety if I don’t.

[3] I’m a goober.

[4] Once again, I’m a goober.

[5] I had to paraphrase a bit, but the flavor of the note remains intact.

[6] I’m easily distracted.

[7] Except for thought three, that one is fairly easily explained.

[8] Thanks Again Wikipedia! You’ve made it so I never have to buy a dictionary again!!!

[9] Fill in the blank

[10] In a round about way, of course.

[11] Sidebar: if he gave her this book, I would absolutely love to see what other books he gave her.

[12] Much to my delight.

[13] Or man.

A moment of quiet introspection

Last night I learned something important about myself, and I learned it at a rock and/or roll concert[1]. For those of you who don’t know, I had the opportunity to see one of my favorite bands[2] in concert at the fabulous Fox Theatre in downtown Oakland California last night. It was awesome. Face meltingly awesome.

The band looked and sounded great, and they had hired a trumpet player for the tour who looked like a young Fidel Castro. I didn’t get the opportunity to go to many concerts when I lived in the Florida because:

a) Venues in Florida tend to suck[3]

b) None of my friends like the same music as me

c) Most of the bands that I want to see only came to Tampa, and I didn’t want to drive that far to see a show by myself

d) People who went to concerts in Florida tended to be… horrible, horrible people

I suppose I should take a moment to elaborate on number[4] d. Here’s the thing about Orlando: it’s kind of a transient town. When I say transient, I mean that the city is one of the vacation capitals of the world, so everything has a certain air of… impermanence about it. Untold thousands of vacationers visit the City Beautiful every week, and we all know that when you’re on vacation you tend to adopt a certain “These people don’t know me, so I’ll do whatever I want to, regardless of how stupid it may be[5].” At some point, for whatever reason, this ‘do as you please’ attitude that the vacationers brought with them migrated from the vacationers and came to live in the hearts and minds of Florida’s permanent residents[6].

That said, I’ve had the pleasure of seeing several bands in concert[7], and I’ve noticed one thing in common at every show: the dude who always wants to start a mosh pit. Odds are, if you’ve been to a secular music concert any time after 1992, you’ve seen this dude. Granted, he isn’t the same dude in every instance[8], but they all look enough alike that they may as well be the same dude. Typical indicators that you’ve seen this dude at show if:

a) He’s slightly overweight[9]

b) He has a head of greasy black hair like a mop

c) He has pushed his way through the crowd to get as close to the stage as humanly possible

d) He is obviously there by himself

e) He jumps up and down, like a pogo stick, wildly thrashing his arms about with total disregard for those around him[10]

Just look at all these angry, angry young men.

Mind you, this is not a rant against the mosh pit in general. I’m a rational man[11], and I understand that these things have their purpose. For instance, when I went to see Coheed and Cambria, I understood why there was a crowd of kids who wanted to burn off some anger by jumping around to all the loud, angry music. It lets them vent off some steam, and the action is in keeping with the overall aesthetic of their music. What I don’t understand is why I seem to see this at every show I’ve attended.

As I said, I can understand this course of action at a concert where the music is a bit more aggressive, but not at a National show. As I’ve tried to express[12] in the past, the National tends to make more music that is more on the mellow side. This is reflected in the caliber of person attending the show: lots of people in flannel shirts with pork pie hats and bushy beards[13]. You know, a real mellow crowd. Sure they have one or two up-tempo songs, and I suppose I understand his need to flail about mindlessly during these songs, but this nut-bar was pogoing like crazy through their entire set. The only time I ever saw him stop was when he would pause to lay his head down on the barricade that prevented him from climbing onto the stage, as if in prayer. Even when he put his head down, he still flailed his arms in the air as if to say “I may need to catch my breath, but I’m still rocking!”

Which leads me to the thing that I learned as a result[14]. I’ve never gotten as excited about anything in my life as that kid did about seeing the National perform. I get excited about things, but I’ve never once become so excited about something that I felt the need to have a near religious experience because of it. Which makes me wonder - is he the weirdo, or am I? Is it better to get that excited about things, or to carry your self with the same quiet dignity that Lon Chaney did?

Does it make me odd that I don’t become more excited about things? Am I missing something here? The mind reels in horror.

Ya’ll stay classy… wherever ya’ll is…

Blakely A-dam Sumner

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[1] And no, I didn’t learn how to do hard drugs or worship the devil.

[2] The National.

[3] Except for the House of Blues. That is a delightful place to see a show in.

[4] Wait… that should be letter. I’m such an idiot sometimes.

[5] I ain’t saying it’s right. I’m just saying it happens.

[6] Which explains why there are so many jerks in Orlando. That’s right. I said it.

[7] Red Hot Chili Peppers, Foo Fighters, Better than Ezra (on 5 awful occasions), Coheed and Cambria (3 times!), Death Cab for Cutie, and the National.

[8] If it is the same dude, I want to know how he can afford to fly across the world to all exotic locations, and how he has conquered aging.

[9] Not Orca fat, just caring a little pooch.

[10] Which, upon further reflection, probably explains why he came to the concert by himself. No one wants to go anywhere with someone that they know will slap them in the face.

[11] Well… mostly.

[12] To varying degrees of success

[13] Which were vaguely reminiscent of the 1970s ear brawny paper towel man.

[14] I’ll bet you thought I’d forgotten.

What's wrong with America?

Today, while watching Attack of the Show[1], I saw a video clip from a news station in San Antonio about a group of teenagers calling themselves the “wolf pack”. Apparently, this “wolf pack” is a group of teenaged hoodlums who want to move beyond being merely a “goth kid”[2]. These young men and women feel that it isn’t enough to never venture into the sunlight and spend their days listening to the Cure and Bauhaus. No, these whipper-snappers have got to take it so the next level, by attaching clip-on wolf tails on the back of their jeans.

That’s right. I said they clip faux wolf tails to their jeans.

I can sense you’re confused, and I don’t blame you really. Take a few moments to watch this video I pulled from the KENS 5 website, and what I’m talking about might just make sense. I should warn you though, this is going to be a rant and I don’t mean just any rant. We’re talking about a Louis Black style rant, where I could likely have a heart attack at any time during the course of said rant. It might not make sense, but it (might) be fun to watch.

This video is, in a nutshell, proof of what’s wrong with America. First off, why is this channel wasting time with a soft news story such as this[3], when they could be reporting on the giant freaking oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Secondly[4], why are these lame-o kids making the prospect of being a wolf sound about as fun as being kicked in the gnads for 30 plus minutes while a German woman reads portions of Milton’s Paradise Lost in broken Cantonese?

I’m reminded that there was a time when being a teen wolf was a fun thing. There was an era when movies (starring Michael J. Fox[5]) used stories of people with awesome transformative powers to do important things, such as winning basketball games. These stories were also important because they had a moral as well. At the end of Teen Wolf, M.J. decides not to use his awesome wolf powers to win the basketball game, and instead decides to win the basketball game “himself”[6].

These kids, on the other hand, only care about walking around trying to look like freaks[7]. My personal favorite quote of the entire segment is when the one goth chick[8] says:

“We’re not a gang at all. Like… gangs are pousers. They just want attention. That’s why they go on tags and stuff. The pack… we’re a family. Like… we go to each other with our problems.”

Does this girl really thing that people in gangs are “posing”, and that all the do is go out at night to spray pain walls? If that’s the case, she’s clearly never run with the Latin Kings before.

I guess when it comes down to it, the biggest problem that I have with it is that these nutbars are, essentially, really heavy into cosplay[9]… but they don’t want to admit it. These kids aren’t about style, or family, they just want to freak their parents out and look goofy in the process. It wasn’t this way in my day[10] though. Back in me day, we were content to wear baggy pants (so baggy that one could use said pants as a tent, should the need arise), wallets with chains that hung nearly down to the ground, and the occasional nail polish[11] on our fingernails.

Here’s the main point of my rant to all you kids who like to dress like wolves: you look stupid. You’ve read too much Twilight, and that makes you think that the world loves an outcast. No one takes you seriously, and they don’t believe that you’re a family. Get a tan, burn your Smiths albums, and cheer the blank up. Most importantly, just do you. Not anyone else, just you. You’ll thank me once you actually start going on dates.

And San Antonio[12], pay attention to news stories that matter and not a bunch of crazy kids.

Ya’ll stay classy… wherever ya’ll is…

Blakely A-dam Sumner

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[1] Yes, I watch G4TV. I’m… I’m so ashamed.

[2] For those wondering, goths are people who are part of a contemporary subculture found in many countries. It began in the United Kingdom during the early 1980s in the “gothic” rock scene, an offshoot of the Post-punk genre. The goth subculture has survived much longer than others of the same era, and has continued to diversify. Its imagery and cultural proclivities indicate influences from nineteenth century Gothic literature along with horror films and to a lesser extent the BDSM culture.

[3] Typically reserved for the last 2 minutes of a news station’s morning show, focusing on “the lighter side” of news.

[4] And thus, less importantly.

[5] And Jason Bateman, to a lesser extent.

[6] The moral? People will always like you best, and you will always be your best, when you’re yourself. Or something like that.

[7] Which, from what I understand about life in Texas, is about as hard as choosing not to wear cowboy boots and ride bulls.

[8] Who looks like what would’ve happened if Molly Ringwald and Bella Lagosi had a baby.

[9] For those of you who aren’t freaky, cosplay is when people like to dress up like imaginary creatures or fictional characters before they have sexy time. It’s weird, but it’s not my place to judge the freaky ways of those around me.

[10] God I’m old.

[11] But you had to hide that from your parents, lest they think you contracted ‘the gay’.

[12] And news outlets the world over, for that matter.

Album Review Friday

Well folks, I’m out of ideas. I know. It happened almost two months later than I thought it would too[1]. As many of you know, I’ve chosen to live my life by what I’ve learned from the sitcoms of the late 1980s and early 1990s. And these sitcoms have taught me that when you’ve run out of ideas you’ve got three options to try and rejuvenate the ole’ girl:

a.) You bring in a precocious[2] child with an annoying[3] voice[4].

Hi, I ruined your favorite sitcom. Have a great weekend.

b.) You bring in a rapping granny, who usually has a bit of a potty mouth[5].

c.) You review something!

Since the other two options are out, I thought I’d review High Violet the new album by the National. I should warn you, I tend to ramble[6], so feel free to ask questions if something doesn’t make sense.

High Violet by The National

1.) Terrible Love

2.) Sorrow

3.) Anyone's Ghost

4.) Little Faith

5.) Afraid of Everyone

6.) Bloodbuzz Ohio

7.) Lemonworld

8.) Runaway

9.) Conversation 16

10.) England

11.) Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks

12.) Walk off (bonus track)

13.) Sin-eaters (iTunes pre-order bonus track)

Before I go further, I feel that I should preface this entry with the following statement: The National is probably my favorite band right now, and they are one of the few bands whose album I will purchase no matter what[7]. I should also say that I’ve been largely unimpressed with the new albums that I’ve purchased this year[8], so I wasn’t quite certain what to expect with this album. And I feel that I should also say that their last album, Boxer, was (in my opinion) utterly perfect: the rare album that you can listen to without ever having to press the “next” button on your iPod.

When one first hears this album, it seems to be a bit… underwhelming. Most of the songs seem to be down-tempo, navel gazing affairs with seemingly nonsensical lyrics[9] about topics such as being carried to Ohio by a swarm of bees or living on a world comprised entirely of lemons with your sister. However, upon repeat listens, one realizes that this album revels in the quiet moments. The opening track, Terrible Love[10] seems to explain why T believe this album is a celebration of the quiet moments in four minutes and forty seconds. The muddy production of the song seems to scream to the listener “underestimate us!”[11]

Note: I couldn’t find a studio version of the song, but I think this is a pretty good representation of the song.

Little Faith is, probably, my favorite track off of the album. The song begins with this beautiful bit of synthesized dischordia and then goes proceeds to go into this tom heavy drum riff that the band is known for. The song is about these two people who have become so used to “ordinary” life that they are constantly searching for newer and more dangerous ways to feel alive[12]. Other highlights of the album include Bloodbuzz Ohio[13], Lemonworld, Runaway, and Conversation 16[14], and Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks.

That being said, the album is far from perfect. Sorrow and Anyone’s Ghost are your typical, straightforward break-up songs about how we never completely get over our first love, because we don’t want to do so[15]. I should say that Anyone’s Ghost is interesting, because it is a about this guy who finds out that his lady is stepping out on him, so he goes into this introspective place where he begins to feel as if he were so over bearing that being with he was like a ghost haunting her. He feels badly about this, but he doesn’t know what to do because he doesn’t want anyone else, but he doesn’t want to be a burden to her. It’s not a bad song, but it’s far from the best song on the album.

All told, it’s far from a bad album (it’s actually a really good album), but I was just expecting another Boxer[16]. That said, I give it four California Raisin’s out of five. Go buy or download the album. It’s worth it.

Ya’ll stay classy… wherever ya’ll is…

Blakely A-dam Sumner

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[1] If you’re keeping score at home, I’ve been writing this thing I call a “blog” for about two months now.

[2] Yet adorable

[3] Yet still adorable

[4] This is not a viable option for me, as I have no children, nor the technological capacity to somehow force said child from the real world and onto the Internet.

[5] This is also not a viable option for me, because I would only allow Bea Arthur to be said rapping granny. Unfortunately, Bea has gone to meet her maker and I don’t have the power to raise the dead (yet) so I can’t use her as my rapping granny. R.I.P. Bea, and thank you for being a friend.

[6] Like the 19^th century wordsmith and faux redneck Mark Twain once said “The journey is the important thing”. What’s that you say? Twain never said that? O.k., I must be thinking of the time he said that”The true flavor is in the details.” What? He never said that either? Fine. I’m sure he thought something along those lines once, and if he didn’t, he should have.

[7] The others being (in case you cared): Death Cab for Cutie, The Avett Brothers, The Hold Steady, Ryan Adams, and Mike Doughty.

[8] Yes, I’m referring to you Spoon and Vampire Weekend albums.

[9] In case anyone cares, the best example of music that is a “down-tempo, navel gazing affair” is And then nothing turned itself inside out by Yo La Tengo. This album is the aural equivalent of a coma. This may sound like a bad thing at first but is, in fact, the exact opposite of a bad.

[10] A song about being in an unhealthy relationship, but somehow being unable to pull yourself out of that relationship – to that point that you can’t sleep at night. At least I think that’s what the song is about.

[11] I read that the album version of the song was actually an unchanged first recording of the demo. The band loved the way the song sounded much that they didn’t want to change anything about it.

[12] This is also the plot to Fight Club, in case you were interested. Now you don’t need to read the book.

[13] I think this song is about how you can’t go home again, but it could literally be about being abducted by bees that take you to Ohio against your will. Stranger things have happened.

[14] It’s a song about zombies!

[15] By the way, I think that’s pure and utter crap.

[16] Which I should say is wrong of me, because I wanted the band to just keep turning out the same album with different lyrics… and not let them grow into their next phase. Or something like that.