Hi Friends,
Here it is, the day before Christmas. Are you excited? Will you be able to sleep tonight despite the visions of sugarplums running rampant through your nasty minds? Were you good, or will Santa be filling your stocking with fossil fuels? Have you prepared yourself accordingly to celebrate the birth of Santa?
I hope for your sakes that you were good, because it’s hard to get that much coal into a sleigh. But as I sit here, sipping upon my holiday nog and listening to the festive sounds of Christmas blasting through my iPod, I’ve realized that most Christmas music sucks.
That’s right, I said it. Most Christmas music is awful. Think about, Christmas is supposed to be a time of celebration and joy, but yet we have songs like “Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas” and “I’ll be home for Christmas.” These songs are, to be blunt, like a kick in the crotch quickly followed by a secondary kick to the crotch. Yes, I understand that these songs are supposed to be bittersweet, but that don’t make it right.
Christmas music should be happy. Yes I understand that everyone isn’t happy and that many horrible things have happened at Christmas and in the name of Christmas, but that’s not the point of Christmas! Christmas is about celebrating peace, goodwill, and your fellowman—but most of the Christmas music is sluggish and depressing. It’s so sad, but I aim to correct that! I’ve compiled a list of some of my favorite obscure (and not so obscure Chrimah songs for your listening enjoyment!
Please, enjoy!
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/L80no0h3_K8?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/L80no0h3_K8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
"Santa Lost a Ho" by The CHristmas Jug Band
Ah, double entendres, you can make me laugh every time. This song is a life changer.
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/0LFe02mhmYg?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/0LFe02mhmYg?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
"Get Behind Me, Santa!" by Sufjan Stevens
I think this song is supposed to be about how creepy the concept of Santa really is. I mean, a strange fat man breaks into your house by climbing down your chimney every December 24 with the intent of eating your cookies and milk and leaving you presents? That is a little strange when you think about it.
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/KQQU2ykEQqo?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/KQQU2ykEQqo?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
"Zat You, Santa Claus?" by Louis Armstrong
I just like this song. Don't judge me.
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/KcfzcQVPnG4?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/KcfzcQVPnG4?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
"Baby It's Cold Outside" by Ella Fitzgerald
Not exactly a Christmas song, and upon repeated listens, it's fantastically tawdry. Catchy though.
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/T4Yxq4QEkUE?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/T4Yxq4QEkUE?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home") by Death Cab for Cutie
A cover of a U2 song, and potentially depressing, but still incredibly well done.
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LOganSDZyLM?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LOganSDZyLM?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
"Donde Esta Santa Claus" by Guster
If you don't like this, you have no soul
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cqN9SXC3d6o?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cqN9SXC3d6o?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
"Santa Baby" by Everclear
A song that should never be sung by a dude, but yet this works somehow.
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/llti1x1o0F0?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/llti1x1o0F0?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
"Last Christmas" by Jimmy Eat World
A Whaam! cover? YAY!!!
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8g1TtJqHY_s?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8g1TtJqHY_s?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
"Santa Claus is Watching You" by Ray Stevens
Don't you judge me.
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GPG3zSgm_Qo?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GPG3zSgm_Qo?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
"Christmas Time is Here" by the Vince Giraldi Trio
Someday, when I've made my fortune I'm going to hire a small choir of children to follow me everywhere I go throughout the month of December as they sing this song.
<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fbdylEE-0e4?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fbdylEE-0e4?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
"Christmas Song" by Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds
Hate Dave Matthews, love this song.
So there you have it, some of my favorite Christmas songs. I hope that each of you have a safe, happy and wonderful holiday. In my own special way, I love each of you. These days, it can be easy to lose sight of what Christmas is all about. In the hustle of our daily lives, trying to wrap presents, putting up the tree and general chaos that it our lives it can be easy to lose sight of what the holiday is about: love. We sometimes forget that at Christmas we're celebrating the birth of Man who was sacrificed himself for the idea that we should all love one another blindly and do the right thing all the time. And regardless of your belief system, you have to admit that there are worse things to die for.
So in conclusion: Enjoy your holiday. Tell those you love that you love them. Be happy. Laugh often. Watch football. Hug. Overeat. Be good.
Ya'll stay classy... wherever ya'll is...
Blakely A-dam Sumner
