Apologies and Grovelings

Hello darlin'. Nice to see you. It's been a long time. You're just as lovely as you used to be.

How's your new blog? Are you happy? Just to know it means so much to me.

What's that darlin'? How I'm doing? I guess I'm doing alright...except I can't sleep.  And I cry all night til dawn.

What I'm trying to say is that I miss you.

Listen baby, I was wrong. I shouldn't have left you for so long. I was, well... I was in a weird place. And I just couldn’t wrap my head around writing a blog. It wasn't you, it was me.

I mean, I loved you... But I wasn't "in love" with you. I just wasn't ready for anything serious at the time. I needed some space. You were perfect in every way. Just... Not for me.

But all that's changed.

I mean, You were  great, but I had so much baggage. And I was having more bad days than good days… and it wouldn’t have been fair to subject you to that.

And let's not forget the key policy issues we differ on. You're favorite Wes Anderson movie is Rushmore. Mine is The Royal Tenenbaums. You're a Republican. I'm a Whig. You're Muslim,  I'm Hindu. I like playing the accordion, and reading comic books. You... Don't have arms, and are therefore incapable of doing either of those things.

And then, one day, updating you simply became more effort than I felt you were worth. I needed to read—not write—other blogs to prove to myself that my love for you was genuine.

I can now say—confidently—that I was wrong.

I've always believed that if you love something, you should let it go. And I loved you. Bad. Making-out-in-the-Dairy-Queen-parking-lot bad. Get-kicked-out-of-Disneyland bad. Spray-paint-your-name-on-an-overpass bad. A separation seemed like the only rationdal course of action.

So I let you go. I thought if you came back, it was destiny. But you never came back, and now—all too late—I realize what a fool I was.

Anyway, I'm trying to say that I'm sorry, and I want to start writing you again.  What happened between us doesn't matter anymore. The past is dead, and the future is now. Us. You're here. I'm here. And, for once, it feels beautiful.

I know, you haven't been returning my texts. And I realize that I've come much closer to you than the legally mandated 200 feet that courts prescribed . But I just had to.  I just had to. I'm fully aware of the disdain that the blogging community holds for me. They think they're better writers than me, and they're jealous of my handsomeness.  They're probably right, but this ain't about them. It's about us. I don't need them. I need you.

So what do you say? Can we do this thang? Will you take me back?

I've changed. I'll update you with an almost semi-regularity, and I'll (probably) never leave you again.

You don't have to be alone.

(I miss you so much.)

With deepest love,

Blakely A-dam Sumner