Things I Hate

Before you read any further, I want you to know that this isn't going to be sort of rant that will make me universally hated. It will not be a tirade against any cultural group or minority. I love all people groups, and accept your right to do whatever you want to do with yourself (except for those kids who play Magic: The Gathering. I find you to be a sad and pathetic lot). No, this is meant to be rant against things that happen in popular culture and society that really tick me off.

In no certain order, here they are:

1.) People who review a band's album and use the word "precious" to describe any part of said album. For starters, what does that even mean? Are you implying that the artist is trying too hard? Or that it's too syrupy? Or that it's not earnest enough? Secondly: If I don't know what you meant by the word, that's sloppy writing.

2.) Any band that covers "Feeling Good"

I get it. It's a good song. You feel good. We're all about empowerment. We're slowly starting

to find our way in America again. Note: I realize that last part is entirely upen for debate,

depending on your political stance, socioeconomic status, and personal world view, but

please... take this journey with me. Even though we're back on track... still lets find a new

song to express this sentiment. I also want everyone to know that I also feel the same exact

way about anyone who covers Etta James' "At Last".

3.) People that hate Ewoks. If you don't like Ewoks, you have no soul.

4.) Anyone who finishes a pot of coffee in an office scenario, and doesn't have the

common courtesy to put a fresh cup on. If you can't be bothered to make a fresh cuppa for

those who come behind you, then you truly are a godless philistine who deserves everything

they get in life.

5.) National Lampoon's Vacation movies. They aren't funny.

6.) People who thank policeman for giving them a ticket. Yes... they're keeping you safe(r).

But still... did they really do you a favor?

7.) The Nintendo Power Glove

The awesomeness of that scene and Fred Savage's acting prowess not withstanding, there really

was nothing to love about the power glove. Yes, I suppose that this useless video game

peripheral was a precursor to the Wii... but it didn't work. Yes, it make you look cool, but it didn't

improve your video game prowess.

8.) Paul Harvey's (may he R.I.P.) the Rest of the Story. I appreciate that you're trying to

educate me Paul except for the fact that I. Don't. Care!

9.) Double Entendres. I only respect triple entendres.

10.) The fact that The Darkness only had one hit. I will always believe in a thing called love.

11.) Twitter. It doesn't take 140 characters to say "I hate you".

There you have it folks. Eleven things that I just can't abide.

Ya'll stay classy... Wherever ya'll is...

Blakely A-dam Sumner