Blogging = Fancytown

Yes friends and neighbors, I'd joined the ranks of the pretentious hipster elite who think that their mundane existences are important enough that they need to be chronicled for all times on the Internet. I don't really know why I did it, but I'm fairly certain that it's Damaris's fault. That's right lady, I said it. It's your fault. I hold you eternally responsible for this abortion of words, and the enemies I am sure to garner for it.

That being said, I believe introductions (and awkward proclamations) are in order. My name is Blakely A-dam Sumner. Blake to my friends. Ms. Jackson if you're NASTY. I'm happily entering my second year of marriage to the greatest woman of all times, Mrs. Teresa Sumner (Yee being her maiden name). I'm a 28 year old man who still reads comic books, loves music that most people haven't heard of (it's all tied into that pretension I mentioned a while back, and currently works at the Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando Florida. That being said, Teresa and I are actually going to be moving across the country at the end of the month. This is probably going to be a shock to many of you, because this isn't something we've broadcast very broadly before. This was and was not an easy decision for us, that can't easily be explained via blogeration.

The long and the short of it is that we want to live in a place that doesn't feel so... temporary. I don't know how to explain it better than that. If you've got well wishes for us on our new venture, by all means send them on, if you don't... then shut your faces.

Now that introductions and proclamations have been made, let's talk a bit about things that matter. I'm personally on a kick where I think we should all take time daily to focus on things we have to be thankful for. Mayhap this blog will become a place for me to post things that you too can be thankful for, and let you haters comment away.

That being said, here's five things you can be thankful for today:

1. I am afraid of everything. This is no idol boast. I quite literally fear for my life both inside and outside of my home. You are not me, so therefore, it stands to reason that you are not afraid of everything.
2. The sky will most likely never fall. Some people say that this is because the sky is simply a reflection of the suns rays upon the belt of air surrounding the earth. While this logic is also serviceable, I choose to believe that the sky is held in place because there is a troop of wizards who live in the earth's core battling day and night to keep the sky where it is, and not falling down around us. Thanks wizards, for your dedication to my safety.
3. Thanks to Wikipedia, you can let the entire world know exactly how awesome you are. For example, if you go to Wikipedia and type in my name, you will find out that I hunted vampires with Teddy Roosevelt in the far future, invented the wishing well, and carved my initials into the great wall of china with the aid of ghost poodle named Farkus.
4. If you're not certain, I'm most likely being sarcastic.
5. Jay-Z will never retire. That's right. H.O.V.A. will never stop rapping. And, as an added bonus, now that he's married to Beyonce, the likelihood of his getting killed due to drug related violence is greatly lessened. However, DMX still hates him...

Now that we've gotten all that taken care of, let the unmitigated laming by internet trolls begin! BRING IT ON SUCKERS!!! YOU CAIN'T TOUCH ME! KING KONG AIN'T GOT JACK ON ME!!!