Dreams

Happy St. Patrick's Day kids. I hope you enjoyed this day that we have set aside to remember st. patrick's ridding ireland of the scourge of serpents. Just remember, it ain't a holiday if it ain't a drinkin' holiday.

That being said, St. Paddy's day is a day for dreamers. A day that we can set aside to not to think about where we've been... but where we want to go. I for one am tired of talking about where I've been, I want to spend more time thinking about where I want to go.

Note: In a year from now, I want to own a yacht (named pimpin' the most), sitting on trailer park sofa, rich as all out doors wearing lenin pants, boat shoes, a tophat and a monocle, throwing chocolate coins up into the air as i pretend to be scrooge mcduck while the song Bad Company from the album Bad Company by the band Bad Company plays on the cassette deck that came standard on my yacht.

Sidebar: If any one wants to make a little photoshop magic of me doing all the things listed in the above picture, I will gladly thank you for your effort.

Side Sidebar: Man... I would love to diagram that note...

Ok... tangent over. As I said... St. Patrcik's is a day for the dreamers to come together and celebrate the dreams that they have yet to see come to fruition while partaking in a smorgasbord of green beverages. I have had my share of dreams in my life... but they say I've always been a dreamer. Alas, I've had to give up on some of these dreams.

Some dreams have been set aside because I've found that I have grown up and am a reasonable person. Ok... that's not true. I am not now, nor have I ever been, a rational person. But I've still given up on some dreams. Luckily for me (and you, the reader), I have this travesty of a bloggeration that I can use as an avenue in which to tell you all about my abandoned dreams. In that way... maybe... just maybe... these dreams will live on in all of our hearts... even if (in a more relaistic manner) these dreams are ridiculously insane.

There is one dream, a dream I've had since childhood. A dream that I doubt I'll ever achieve because the fine people in Detroit don't make em like that no more... the 80's cargo van.

I've always help a secret desire to own a 1980s cargo van. You know the kind. The ones with a porthole window on the back up of it that usually have one of the following painted onto the side:

1. A desert landscape with a solitary wolf on a cliffisde howling at the moon. This is to let the world know that you're a renegade who won't be tamed by man's laws... and that you've got plenty of room in the back of the van to help with the big move on Saturday.
2. A lady in a bikini. This is to show other cargo van owners that you are a virile male who loves the ladies so much that you felt the need to show this love with the only canvas you got... your cargo van.
3. A wizard (usually mid spell). Occasionally you will see said wizard riding a wolf. I always assume that this is the same wolf from mural number 1, and that the wizard is riding that wolf triumphantly into a battle that will decide the ultimate fate of middle earth. I don't honestly know why people want this on the side of the vans, but I do know that this is awesome.

These vans are great because you can essentially turn the rear portion of the van into a rolling home. Think about it... if you put a bed, a mini fridge, a hot plate and a 13 inch tv in the back of that bad boy... well then you never really need to worry about being homeless... b/c your home is where you park it.

I also love the port hole window on the back of these vans that seems to be standard issue for this type of vehicle. This ensures maximum privacy... b/c the window is tiny, high off the ground, and usually illegally tinted to like... negative 10. This is great... b/c now no one will know that you own the finest rotating mattress... and therefore can never know that you have it for them to want to steal it from you.

And I'm pretty sure that the ladies are all clamoring to get with the dude that owns the 83 Chevy cargo conversion.

Why did I never get one of these rolling beauties? Because I was too poor to afford it when I had the opportunity, and haven't been able to locate another one since. And as the years go by, and the gap between the present day and the day when that last 87 Chrysler conversion rolled off the factor floor gets wider, it seems less and less likely I'll ever find another one.

This is a shame... because I would've loved that van. I would've named it Pimpin the Most IV and filled it with all the finest trailer park furniture, and I would load party people in the back and chauffeur them to varies parties in assorted cow fields across the nation. And I would've painted a picture of me riding a tiger, dressed as a Spanish Conquistador, battling an army of Draculas. And I would've cleverly made the porthole window look like some sort of solar eclipse. This would have filled that hole in my heart... but it was never meant to be.

But the dream lives on in my heart.

Heart,

Blakely A-Dam Sumner

King of Clermont